I may never understand or know him

Is yin in bed the other night I could help but stare at my husband and think what Lucky girl I am. He may be one a lot and this duty may be hard but he try's so hard and he is just simply the best. He does everything under the sun and more. Then I was thinking about how well I know him. As we both have changed through the years, and that is expected With multiple deployments and age. 

I wondered do I still know my husband? We used to know each other so well; have this understanding of each other. As I was thinking I realized, I will never u derstand him no matter how hard I try. I can understand what he dealt with or saw on deployments. How could I? I can support him, try to be his balm, but will that be enough? I understand and relate that he needs to be with people who have shared experiences. But that person will never be me. Can I live win that? Can I live with knowing that i may never be enough?