Send Off

Today we sent off our Marine. You would think that it gets easier with time and the more you do it. Nope not at all! We had a photographer there which was helpful I am glad that I had pictures taken.  We can look back on those and see how much we all have grown, see the love we share. For now though the depression is sinking in and I am finding it hard to go day to day. Especially with having two children instead of one. Some may say the distraction makes it easier, they are partially right. Sometimes they do, but they resemble their father so much it causes my heart to ache. 

With my little lady understanding that Daddy has to leave but not fully understanding why, it breaks my heart. I know it hurt him when she said "Daddy please don't leave me again!" She is having a hard time coping with it. Our wee man was horrible through the training, I expect it to worsen the first few months. He do not understand that Daddy is gone. It hurts to hear him walk around asking for Daddy, but it brings a smile to m face and warmth in my heart to see him point at pictures of his Daddy and blow kisses to him. I know we can make it through this. I think.After one day we had our first incident! At an appointment in town (on base go figure) wee man runs up to every man he sees in cammies and yells "DADDY!" and throws a fit when I pick him up. Little Lady is just not herself at all. It will take time for us all to adjust and get back into the swing of things. I just hope the little ones will be all right and remember their Daddy loves them.

I am in overdrive thinking off all the things I am planning on doing. I must calm myself down or else I will have done them before the first three months are done. If I look at it as if I have nine to twelve months to get all this done then it may make the time go by faster. I hope. At the moment I feel alone in a dark place. I know I am not the only wife who is going through this and I hope to draw from and be a support to these women. 

Until Next Week. Staying Strong